


Haikyuu!! Next Generation: Vandalism

by crapso



Series: Haikyuu!! Next Generation [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Breaking and Entering, Concussions, F/M, Fights, Flirting, Homophobia, Vandalism, lovechildren, teenage romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4256211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crapso/pseuds/crapso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So,” Akane said, “How are we gonna teach Dateko a lesson never to mess with us again?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Haikyuu!! Next Generation: Vandalism

**Author's Note:**

> omg welcome to the first installation of the Haikyuu!! Next Generation series! Okay so anyone in the fandom has probably recently seen the lovely and amazing [Noranb's](http://noranb-artstuffs.tumblr.com) designs for Hq otps' lovechildren! I fell in love with the characters and wanted to write them so bad, and Noran was kind enough to let me so thank you, darling. The [**tag is here**](http://noranb-artstuffs.tumblr.com/tagged/hq-lovechild) for her amazing art, please go reblog it and follow her.  
>  More stories will be written with the different lovechildren, and I'll try to include everyone in the series. it gives me practice to work with OCs outside of a canon universe, but in this one, I will not actually include any of the canon parents. Like Noran mentioned, I can't imagine them together in the same universe.  
> anyways enjoy! sorry if this story is stupid, these OCs/combinations of the Hq characters' personalities were fun to write for :) (lol, a lot of yelling in this one, a lot of this was written in caps) ((and sorry this is so long! I fucked up))

“I wouldn’t do it.”

“Is that supposed to make me not want to…?”

“Yup.”

“Okay, well, good input but, I’m still gonna do it.”

“Look at them.” Azumane Tsuneo pointed to the group of boys on the other side of the parking lot while shifting his gym bag over his shoulder, “They look like they wake up every morning and do 100 push ups before jacking off and then eating straight protein powder for breakfast.”

“Wow. So… they look like huge douchebags?” Hinata Akihiko wrinkled up his nose and shrugged his shoulders, arms folded, “I don’t know how that visual is supposed to give me perspective.”

“You talk to them and try to wish them luck, you’ll be in a hospital gown for sure.”

“So dramatic,” Aki scoffed, “I’m just gonna do it.” He walked over to the boys who were now sending Aki glares. Tsuneo sighed.

“Don’t do it, man.”

Aki walked backwards to face him and grinned, “If I make friendly conversation with them, I can use it as an opportunity to psyche them out! It’s a classic manipulation move.”

“A classically stupid one.”

“Just- have some trust in me.” Aki turned and walked towards the glaring boys from the opposite team, smiling. Tsuneo shook his head and whispered.

“Oh my god. He is so screwed.”

“Hey, fellow opponents!” Aki grinned and waved while getting closer to the group of boys, “Hinata Akihiko, you may know me from my growing popularity and title of ‘Karasuno’s Genius Setter’.” He shook a guy’s hand and Tsuneo watched with shock.

“What the fuck.” He hissed to himself, “Just introduce yourself normally?”

“Yeah.” One of the guys—all four of them larger and more built than Aki, towering over him—roughly spoke, “I know you. You’re the son of those two Olympic queerbos.”

“Ah, you must mean my… my own fathers. Yeah.” Aki nodded and shook another guy’s hand, “You know, they have names- ah!” He winced at how hard his hand got squeezed by one of the guys and whimpered softly, “Wow, you really know how to shake hands, don’t you?” He laughed nervously and took a few seconds to wrench his hand out of their tough grip, “Nice, nice.” He grinned up at them, “You four must really be lady-killers, huh? Or… part of the popular group! Nice.”

“Genius setter, huh?” The one growled, “We don’t really appreciate being outwitted in our sport. Volleyball’s more of brawn rather than brains.”

“Actually, it can be both, and it isn’t _your_ sport, exactly,” Aki smiled, “it was invented by William G. Morgan in 1895 in the city of Holyoke, Massachusetts, where a group of fine, young men-”

“Listen, inbred.” One of them growled and stood over Aki so his shadow covered his face, “Our intention today was not to get beaten by a queer mutant like you.”

“ _Inbred_.” Aki laughed, “That’s funny, real funny, you thought about taking those comedic skills on the road, son?” He laughed against while Tsuneo covered his face and turned away.

“No, no, you see, friend,” Aki said calmly, taking his hand and speaking in a soft, mocking voice, “When two men love each other very much-”

“Get your hands off me, fudge packer!”

“What, what?” Aki asked, “Is this physical contact making you uncomfortable? I mean, if my parents are gay, I’m gay, right? Because that’s totally how it works-”

“I’m serious,” He shoved Aki roughly, “If you don’t back the fuck up, you’re never gonna make it on the court today.”

Aki laughed a little and held up his hands as Tsuneo watched nervously from the sidelines, “Sorry, sorry, right, I get it. You’re a homophobe and I’m a fag, I get it, even though I like boobs very much-”

“Guys, guys,” Tsuneo jumped forward and grabbed Aki’s arm, pulling him away, “I’m sorry, he’s acting out today, we’re leaving now he’s sorry.” Aki kept talking anyways, fighting against Tsuneo’s grip as he smiled with entertainment.

“ _I’m_ the fag, yet _you_ _guys_ are the ones that shake your protein drinks like hand jobs, and probably shave all your pubic hair in hopes of getting a blowy one day.” Tsueno froze and stared in shock at Aki’s smiling face and all four of the other boys stood in silence. The tallest narrowed his eyes and took a step towards him.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

Tsueno shook his head at him and slowly let go of his arm and took a step away to get out of the range of fire. Aki shrugged.

“I just said I hope you get a blowy one day, it was a nice thought-” He squeaked as a fist curled in his shirt and he was yanked up in the air.

“C- come on, you guys wouldn’t hurt me, would you?” He laughed as another guy roughly grabbed him from behind, “I- I mean, this would totally be cliché, right? Stereotypical sit- situation! Little guy gets beaten up by the bigger more popular- shit!” Two guys grabbed him and held him up in the air, keeping him locked there. He laughed again.

“Ah- wow! Okay, so I guess you are all friends of the cliché and enjoy being walking stereotypes- okay- yeah, you’re all stronger than I thought you were going to be-” The tallest stood in front of him and he started struggling more, stammering, “No, no, no, not the face! Not the face- punch anywhere else! Please, please, please, not the face! It’s the only thing I have going for me-” A fist landed on his cheek, and blood flew out of his mouth as his face was whipped to the left.

“Hey!” Another teammate ran into the parking lot and came up behind Tsueno, watching with a serious expression. “Shouldn’t we be stopping this?!” He exclaimed.

“No, no.” Tsueno said calmly while holding the other guy back with his arm, “He needs to learn, this is a good lesson for him.”

Aki shouted while blood streamed out of his nose and onto the pavement below, “IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!” He laughed, “You punch like a seventy year old veteran!” He received another one and reeled back, before groaning between the blood in his mouth, “That was actually a compliment, veterans are very strong individu-” After the next punch, he blacked out.

* * *

_“Sensai-Ohira, please call extension 0. Sensai-Ohira, please call extension 0.”_

Tsuneo and Aki sat in front of their school’s nurse’s office, sprawled out on the plastic seats as Aki held his head back, paper towels bunched in his nose. Aki chuckled to himself.

“At least I’m not in a hospital gown, eh?”

“I just…” Tsuneo said softly, “don’t get you sometimes.”

“Welcome to the club.” He mumbled through the paper towel. He leaned forward and touched his mouth, “I think I chipped a tooth.”

“You honestly deserved it. I can say that wholly and with all sincerity left in my body.”

“Hey!” Aki yelped, “Where were you during all that! You totally just side-stepped out of the way-”

“Yes, I did.” Tsuneo said honestly, “I didn’t want to also miss my game. But your dad insisted I take you back, so either way…” He sighed and Aki laughed hollowly.

“Ha. Asshole.” He touched his mouth more and opened it for Tsueno to see, “Hey… do I even still have teeth? I can’t feel anything.”

Tsuneo looked with disgust at his red mouth, “Yeah, they’re still there. Aki?”

“Yes.”

“What did the nurse say exactly?”

“To sit out here for ten minutes before going home. I guess to let my brains settle first before I start moving.” He giggled and waved his head around, “They’re all- wobbly in there.”

“No, no, what did she say before that.”

Aki sighed tiredly and put his head back again, “Something about head injuries, brain injuries, internal bleeding in my brain- you know, I never got that whole ‘internal bleeding’ thing? I mean, isn’t that where the bleeding’s supposed to be? Isn’t it good if it’s internal?”

“Head and brain injuries?” Tsuneo repeated, “Shit. Okay, how many fingers am I holding up?” He held up one and Aki squinted at it deliriously before his eyes widened and he whispered.

“Damn, Tsuneo. You never told me you had six fingers… how is that allowed in volleyball?”

“Okay, yeah, you’re concussed. Fucking-” Tsuneo swore and picked him up by his arm, “I guess I should take you home.”

“I made a phone call.” Aki whined, “They told me to make it to my parents but I made it to Akane instead, she’s coming.”

“Okay, well, can’t she take you home?”

“She has class…” He whined again and fell back into the plastic chair, “Don’t hurt me, I’m delicate.” He began whimpering about being “a delicate, beautiful china doll” and Tsuneo sighed heavily and sat down beside him. After a few moments of silence Aki mumbled quietly.

“Everything smells like burnt toast.”

“Ahuh?”

“Isn’t that the sign of a heart attack?”

“No, that’s the sign of a stroke.” Tsuneo said, “You could be having a stroke right now.” Aki frowned.

“Oh… well, that’s pretty inconvenient.”

Quickening footsteps gathered around the corner and Hinata Akane appeared around it, wearing her school skirt and white-collared shirt, tie undone and loose around her neck, glaring as she carried her books and let her long, orange hair fall messily around her shoulders. Tsuneo perked up and stared in wonder.

“She’s glowing.” He whispered, receiving a confused “What.” from Aki next to him. The spell was broken when Tsuneo started his love-struck sentence but was cut off with a smack on the back of his head with her books and then she wasn’t glowing anymore.

“You look absolutely amazing today- JESUS!” _Smack_.

“What the _fuck_ , Tsuneo?!”

“What- what! _Hi_.” He said haughtily, “I’m good, how are you, Aka-”

 _Smack_. “You let me brother get in a fight-” She hit him again and he yelped, “And then you didn’t even help him?! What is wrong with you!” She hit him another time and he snapped, “Okay, okay! It was for his own good- stop! Enough- ENOUGH WITH THE HITTING!” He grabbed the book roughly out of her hand and swatted her with it instead.

“ _OW!”_ She gasped, grabbing the book back and glaring at him. She kneeled down in front of Aki’s chair and lifted his head back to survey his wounds, “Ah… Fuck. That looks bad, Aki.”

“Really?” He drawled, “Because I think I look lovely today. Red suits me.”

“I’m fine too, Akane.” Tsuneo leaned over to her, “Not that you care, I was also in danger so you should touch my face too-”

“You weren’t in danger,” She snapped, “you hid back from the fight like the fucking pansy you are.” Tsuneo swallowed and sat back in his chair while Aki laughed.

“Heh- _pansy_.”

“Tell Dad you got these injuries falling off your bike, okay?” Akane pulled his head and tipped it forward, “And lean forward instead, let all the blood drain out. Tsuneo can take you home, I have to go to class. It was just a practice match anyways, right?”

“Yeah, but still important.” Tsuneo snapped. Aki whined softly.

“What if I can never play basketball again… TSUNEO! AKANE!” He yelled at them, tears forming in his eyes and blood dribbling down his chin, “What if I can never play basketball again?!” He leaned back down and buried his face in his hands, whining, the other two looking nervously at him.

“Uh,” Akane said, “What did the nurse say exactly?”

“Concussion.” Tsuneo explained.

“Great.” Akane sighed. Her brother sniffed softly. “Akane… they insulted Dads.” She stroked his black hair sadly and nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“They called them ‘queerbos’. And then called me ‘inbred’. And a fudge packer.” He sobbed, “I don’t even work at a fudge factory!”

Akane shook her head in disgust, “Unbelievable. Is this what Dateko has come to?”

“They’re a bunch of bullies now,” Tsuneo shrugged, “Dad told me they used to be more powerful on-court instead of off, but I guess now no one has the guts to stand up to them.”

“They should really be taught a lesson.” She snapped, she looked up at the clock on the wall and then stood up, “Alright, I gotta go.” She squeezed Aki’s shoulder and walked away. Tsuneo watched her walk away and then jumped up from his chair.

“Wait- Akane, wait!” He quickly sidled in beside her, walking smoothly with his hands in his pockets and he leaned in.

“Where you heading- can I walk you?”

“I can walk myself,” She said, looking ahead, “Thanks.”

“Great! That means that you’re able to walk me as well, can you walk me?”

“I-” She stared at him, “I guess?”

“Guys…” Aki groaned from his seat as they walked away from him, “I can’t get up from this chair by myself, I can’t feel my legs…”

“So, where you heading?” He repeated.

“Archaeology. Shouldn’t you be taking my brother home?”

“Ah,” Tsuneo smiled and ignored her question, “The study of man—a valiant field of learning! History, evolution-”

Akane made a face, “That’s anthropology?”

“Right!” Tsuneo blushed and laughed, “Right, right- knew that! _Fossils_ -”

“Okay, I’ve walked you far enough.” She stopped and turned to him, “I think you should go back and take my brother home.”

Tsuneo smiled slowly, “Oh, but I’d much rather spend my time walking with you.” He tucked an orange strand of hair behind her ear, “Seriously… did you do something to your hair? Like, you’re just glow-”

“Okay,” Akane pulled back out of his touch, “that’s very sweet to walk me, but I think you should do what the lady wants.”

“And the lady wants what I want which is to walk you to your human studies class.”

“ _Archaeology_ class,” Akane sighed, “And what the lady actually wants is for you to go back and take her brother home.”

“Oh, but what does the lady _really_ want.” Tsueno said, voice lowering, getting a little closer to her and her face fell, eyes trailing, getting distracted. She cleared her throat and then spoke, voice wavering a little.

“I’m… pretty sure she wants you to go back and take her concussed brother home.” A switch flipped and then she smirked, leaning in, turning the tables and placing a hand on his chest and he jerked in shock.

“What are you-”

“And I think…” She said slowly, whispering close to his ear, “You should do what she wants… because what she wants, you want, hm?”

Tsuneo nodded several times, swallowing, squeaking out a “Yup. Yeah, okay.” She smiled, slowly lifting her hand away from his chest and then walking away with her books. Tsuneo let out a deep breath he was holding, shaking his head a little to get rid of the nerves and then went back to her brother slumped against the wall.

“What were you two talking about?” He mumbled lazily around the ice pack, “What were you two doing?”

“Nothin’, buddy.” Tsuneo said, taking Aki’s arm and slinging it around his shoulder to help pick him up, “Let’s get you home.”

“Yaay~” Aki leaned against him, “Don’t let me fall asleep, I have internal brain bleeding.”

“I know.”

“When will I get back to basketball practice?” He mumbled, both boys walking down the hallway.

“You don’t play basketball, buddy.”

“No?”

“No.”

“I was almost sure…”

* * *

“Azumane Tsuneo?”

Tsuneo lifted his head and clasped his notebook shut at his desk, quickly covering the doodles in it with an orange pen of a girl with long hair and thin eyes, and squeaking out a “Yes?”

The vice-Dean at the door beckoned him over with his finger, “C’mere.” Tsuneo got up from his desk and followed him into his office, hands in his pockets.

“What’s up my VD?” He asked, smiling, sitting down across from him at the desk, “You know I’ve been keeping my reputation up: no more fights, no more vandalism, no more suspensions—I even recycle now! Like I put stuff into the recycling bins at school- have you seen me do that?”

“Prideful, Azumane,” The Dean sighed, “but I’m afraid that polished character is about to get tarnished.” Tsuneo perked up an eyebrow.

“Oh? How so?” He frowned, “Did you find the porn in my locker? Because it was just one old issue of Red-Hot Redheads and I was just about to throw it out anyways-”

“Azumane,” He said, holding out a hand, “Stop talking. Look, recent reports from your supervising teacher and coach of your club activities have brought to my attention of an issue today, a rather _violent_ one? That happened at another school? Dateko High, to be more specific.”

“Uh,” Tsuneo said, “Yeah. Some homophobes grabbed Aki and started shoving him around- I was going to stop them at first but decided against it… for personal reasons of dignity and honour.”

The Dean shook his head and frowned, “Not what I heard the Dateko coach. Apparently, to those group of boys, you and Hinata attacked them ruthlessly and then began spouting brash slurs at them: fag, faggot, fudge-packer.”

“Seriously?” Tsuneo laughed, “That’s what they told you? Why do you think _me and Aki_ would use those slurs of all people—fuck, do you even know who we are?”

“Don’t swear, Azumane.” The Dean sighed, “Look, I wouldn’t believe in that report for my life, but Dateko’s coach is out for blood. The minimum of what I have to do to make them happy is three weeks detention.”

“Three weeks?!” Tsuneo demanded, “I didn’t do anything- they’re the ones that hurt Aki! Also- why isn’t he here getting shit?!””

“Hinata is apparently at home resting from head injuries, I trust that you can report three weeks detention to him as well.” He shrugged and clasped his hands on the desk in front of him, “I suspend you guys, that’s gonna be a lot of paperwork. I don’t want to go through that shit again. I’m sorry, Tsuneo, just try to stay out of Dateko’s way next time.” He nodded, “Go along now, learn something.”

Tsuneo nodded and stood up, “Yeah.” He brought two fingers away from his forehead in salute, “At ease, sir.”

* * *

_Knock knock knock._

Aki sat on the couch, eating out of a bag of chips, a wide, white, circular bandage wrapped around his head as black hair poked out of it and he laughed deliriously at the cartoon on the TV.

_Knock knock knock._

“Ugh,” He groaned around his chips, “DOOR!” He kept eating.

**_Knock knock knock._ **

“Fucking- AKANE!” He screamed, chips falling out of his mouth, “DADS! DAAAADS! AKAAANE! DOOR-”

“ _JESUS_ _FUCK_ , AKI!” Akane screamed back, walking to the door in her short-shorts, “Can’t you get up to answer it?!”

“I’m _concussed!”_ He shot back indignantly. He ate another chip and suddenly pointed to the TV screen, laughing, “Akane, look. Mr. Wiggles lost his pants.” He laughed even louder while stuffing more chips in his mouth and Akane sent him a disgusted look before going over to the door and opening it.

Tsuneo stood on the doorstep in a sweatshirt, hands in his pockets, twitching nervously and looking frustrated. Akane raised an eyebrow and leaned on the door.

“Come here to walk me to my bedroom?”

Tsuneo smirked and took a step closer, “That supposed to be an invitation for sex, Hinata? Because if your Dads aren’t home, we could just give Aki noise-cancelling headphones-”

“What do you want, Tsuneo.”

“I have a proposition.” He smiled, “How’s Aki?”

Akane shrugged and looked over at her shoulder at her brother, “Better. He’s watching… what _are_ you watching, Aki?”

“Mr. Wiggles: the Big Wiggle Birthday Bash special episode?” Aki said in a demeaning manner, “ _God_.”

“He’s been better.” Akane admitted, “So, what’s up?”

“Listen, you know how you said we have to teach Dateko a lesson?” Tsuneo asked, leaning in with growing intensity, “I think, that’s the most brilliant idea you had in the past year.”

“Really?” Akane smiled, “Have you heard my idea on taping coins to the bottom of your shoes as a cheap way of making your own home-made tap dance shoes? I call them penny loafers, patented-”

“I got three weeks detention.” Tsuneo said quickly, “And your brother did too.”

“Wait, what?”

“Really?” Aki called from the couch, and then laughed, “Sweet, dude.”

“No, not sweet, Aki.” Akane snapped at him, “That cuts both of your practice time in half.”

“I know, I know.” Tsuneo sighed, “Those Dateko motherfuckers ratted out on us, twisted the story. As if me and Aki could physically succeed in taking all four of them.”

“Hey, man,” Aki said while staring at the TV screen, “I could, I just chose not to. Didn’t want to hurt my hand we have inter-high coming up.”

“Okay,” Akane said, stepping out of the way, “Come inside.” Tsuneo walked in and stood in the TV room, hands on his hips as Akane went into the kitchen to get a drink.

“Take your coat off,” Aki said lazily, “make yourself at home.” Tsuneo frowned.

“I’m not wearing a coat.”

Aki looked up at him slowly and made a confused face, whispering, “Yes you are?” They both continued to stare at each other until Akane walked back in with a glass of juice and handed it to Tsuneo.

“So,” She said, “How are we gonna teach Dateko a lesson never to mess with us again?”

“Here’s what we need.” Aki rambled in a delirious voice, counting off his fingers, “Chloroform, rags, make-up—we’re gonna need that for me and Tsuneo, we’re gonna seduce the security guars at Dateko. Crossdressing- no security guards to seduce? We’ll hire some. Go into Dateko’s official folders, call some people—I know some people! I know people- we use the chloroform to chloroform ourselves so that they pity us and take us in, think we’re one of them. Tsuneo, how good do you look in a skirt? Doesn’t matter—we’ll get you in one anyways. After we pretend we’re one of them we slowly gain their trust- we’re gonna need nun chucks for any complications, maybe some bear spray- once we’re inside the facility- Oh my god.” He suddenly sat up and stared at the TV screen with wide eyes, “I think Mr. Wiggles is going to blow out the candles on his cake soon.”

“Okay, okay.” Tsuneo sighed, “Buddy, how about you just lie down and enjoy your show, okay? Let the grown ups handle this.”

“Mm’kay.”

“Okay.” He turned to Akane, who shrugged.

“He made a decent point about the chloroform, though.”

“Wha- no!” Tsuneo yelped, “We are chloroforming no one- okay, from now on, I come up with the plans not the Hinatas, okay?” He began pacing as Akane sighed and tapped his chin in thought.

“Okay, we have to send them a message somehow.” He said, “Something symbolic maybe?”

“Or,” Akane said, “How about a literal message.”

“What do you mean?”

She raised her eyebrows, “Ever heard of spray paint?” Tsuneo pondered it before shaking his head.

“Meh, too messy.”

“It doesn’t have to be, I aced art class in middle school.”

“The only reason your art teacher gave you a good mark in Yukigaoka was because you made a paper-mache model of her face for your summative.”

“I still got a good mark!” She exclaimed, “We could do it on the side of the gym they use, then they would definitely get the message. Something like… ‘mess with the ravens, we’ll gouge your eyes out!’, or something…”

“Jesus.” Tsuneo frowned, “Gruesome. We’re a volleyball team seeking revenge not the Zodiac killers.” He put his hands on his hips and looked at the TV screen, where Mr. Wiggles was eating a slice of cake. He smiled and turned slowly to Akane.

“How about… ‘mess with the ravens, we’ll eat you alive’.”

Akane’s eyes widened and she smiled creepily, laughing and punching his arm and he winced before laughing back. Aki started laughing too, pointing at the screen.

“What’s so funny, Aki?”

“Mr. Wiggles got frosting all over his moustache!”

Akane turned to Tsuneo, “You free tomorrow night? 3am?”

“Yeah?” He smirked, “Why? Is this a pre-scheduled booty call?”

“Nope,” Akane said, “we’re gonna need your truck.”

* * *

  _36 Hours Later, 2:54am._

Aki stood at the kitchen sink in the dark, gloomily lit room, filling his water bottle with milk from the container. Akane walked into the kitchen, pulling a sweatshirt over her head and bra.

“Dads?” She asked. Aki answered from the sink.

“Fast asleep, I slipped some Temazepam into their curry.”

“Nice.” She said with admiration, “That’s why you wanted to make dinner.”

“Yup.” He finished pouring the milk and screwed the cap back on, slipping it in the fridge and shaking his water bottle, “You got the stuff?”

“Tsuneo’s bringing it.” Akane said, “Got the spray paint?”

“Bought them yesterday,” Aki pointed to a plastic bag on the counter, “When’s he coming?”

“Soon.” There was a faint honk outside and Akane went over to the window in the living room, looking out and whispering back into the kitchen, “Okay, he’s here, get the bag, let’s go.” Aki walked over to her with the bottle and bag, slipping dark-tinted glasses on his face, also wearing a dark hoodie like his little sister. Akane put tinted glasses on her face as well.

“Nice.” She said, “You look really cool.”

“ _You_ look really cool.”

There was a sudden scuffle of noise upstairs and they gasped, both clasping their hands over their mouths to stop themselves and Akane hissed between his fingers, “Was that them?”

“I don’t know!” He hissed back.

“I thought you said you gave them Temazepam?”

“Well, maybe I didn’t give them a heavy enough dosage as I thought I did!” Aki whispered desperately, “Or maybe I gave them Viagra in pill form instead.”

“What?!” She whispered, “How could you mix those two up?!” They both froze as there were more movements and low voices upstairs, and then a solid thump, happening in rhythm, accompanied by the sound of creaking springs and the hanging ceiling lamp shook gently in time.

“Oh my god.” Aki said, quickly opening the door, “Oh my god.”

“Wow- okay.” Akane pushed him out, “Yeah, let’s just go- wow.”

“Oh my god.” Aki closed the door gently behind him, loud, muffled voices yelling from upstairs, “That is so disgusting. Why are those two pill bottles so close together on the top shelf.”

Outside Tsuneo stepped out of the truck and closed the door behind him. He walked to the back and popped open the trunk as they neared the truck. “Ooookay,” He sang while pulling out plastic bags of materials.

“We got your fold-up, portable ladder, we got your rope, we got your gloves…” He looked up, “aaand, what the shit are you two wearing.”

Akane and Aki looked at their own hoodies and glasses, “What? This?” Aki fixed his own dark pair and shrugged, saying, “Just a little something we put on.”

“Yeah.” Akane echoed him, “A little something we put on.”

“Okay.” Tsuneo sighed, “Is that all really necessary? It’s night-time for Christ’s sake- Aki, can you even see out of those?”

“No.” Aki laughed, looking a little bit to the left and not at Tsuneo, “I’m literally legally blind right now.”

“Aki’s just stupid.” Akane scoffed, “Mine are night-time.” She got closer to Tsuneo, “Hey- hey, hey, Tsueno.”

“What.”

“Where are my eyes looking? Where are my eyes looking- you can’t tell. I could totally be looking at your crotch right now and you could never tell.”

“Stop- okay, just get in the truck.” Tsuneo said, blushing and opening the door to let Akane in as she laughed and took off her glasses, “I hate to rain on your parade but you two look fucking insane right now.”

“Jesus, Tsueno.” Akane got into the passenger’s seat as Aki echoed her.

“Yeah, fuck. Stop being such a parade rainer.”

“The quicker we get there the quicker we can get this done, so let’s just move.” Tsuneo closed Akane’s door behind her.

* * *

“I’m on a hiiiiighway to HELL!” Aki accompanied his singing with air guitar, “Hiiiiiighway to HELL! I’M ON A-”

“Fucking!” Akane shouted, slapping the radio off with the palm of her hand. Aki groaned from the back seat.

“Come on… you got shot-gun! The least you could do is let me listen to some tunes so I can pump myself up.”

“You can pump shit up, that’s what you can do.” Akane sighed, “Also, hand me those spray paint bottles, make yourself useful.” Aki mimicked her silently before handing her the plastic bag and leaning in to the front seat.

“You know, the only reason we’re doing this is because I sacrificed myself to get my ass kicked.”

“No, you performed a self-destructive suicide mission in order to get your ass kicked.” Tsuneo corrected while driving, “There’s a difference. Just- let’s keep the bickering to a down-low, alright?”

“Ooh,” Aki teased in a high-pitched voice, poking Tsuneo’s cheek, “Someone’s nervous~”

“I’m not- stop that!” He slapped his hand away, “I’m fucking driving.” Akane laughed next to him.

“Ha! You totally are nervous.”

Aki smirked, “Third year captain is nervous about a little paint.”

“I’m not _nervous_.” Tsuneo counteracted, “I’m just… agitated. I’m re-thinking this whole thing, and whether or not we should do it.”

“Why?”

“Has it ever occurred to either of you dim-wits that I’m eighteen and old enough to go to jail?” He asked, “Not just Juvi, actual jail.”

“For school vandalism?” Aki made a ‘pfft’ noise, “Doubt it.”

“I keep forgetting you’re eighteen.” Akane murmured next to him, watching him as Aki sat down in his seat again. Tsuneo looked at her momentarily before smiling and staring at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Yeah? Does that make _you_ nervous?”

Akane chuckled, “Nothing makes me nervous. Except girls' sleepovers.”

“Oh, I see. Tough girl.” There was nothing but the soft noise of the engine running and Aki singing Highway to Hell underneath his breath in the back seat. Akane smiled at the road ahead of her.

“So, nothing makes you nervous?”

“Not a lot, except going anywhere with you two.” Tsuneo chuckled, “You know-” Akane slipped a hand over and on his upper thigh, dangerously close, squeezing gently. Tsuneo lost control of the wheel and swerved with a scream of “JESUS!”

“FUCK!” Aki screamed in the backseat, being thrown into the door. When the truck was in control again he got up and shouted, “UM? WHAT THE SHIT WAS THAT?”

“Sorry, sorry!” Tsuneo shouted desperately, visibly sweating, “I- I- I just lost control of the wheel- swerved- two foxes came out of nowhere-”

“Foxes?” Aki turned around in his seat to look out the back window.

“Y-yup!” Tsuneo squeaked, looking over at Akane who was looking out of her window, chewing her thumbnail, trying to hide the amused smile on her face. She looked over at Tsuneo who snapped his head back and stared firmly at the road ahead, mouthing “Oh my god” to himself as they drove on in silence.

 

Ten minutes later, nearing Dateko school Akane began rummaging through the plastic bag in her lap. “Aki…” She said slowly while bringing out the paint cans to look at them, “Did you-?”

“Did I what.” He said in a bored tone from the back. His sister spun around dramatically.

“Did you even get any black or orange? Our _school_ _colours?!_ The only thing you got was specific shades of cornflower blue and puce.”

“Actually,” Aki laughed mockingly, “that’s not puce that’s cerise? Chick can’t tell her own pinks apart-”

“Uh, stop the truck?” Akane said fervently to Tsuneo, “Because I am literally this close to throwing him out of the window.”

“Come on, Akane,” Tsuneo groaned, turning up the fizzy radio, “you can still write impactful messages in colours that aren’t our school colours.”

“How will they know it’s us?!”

“The word ‘ravens’ is literally in it.”

“Yeah!” Aki scoffed, “What, are they going to think _actual_ ravens did that? Like birds with…” He giggled, “Well, now I’m laughing thinking about it. Birds with- little paint brushes-”

“Windows.” Akane growled, “I swear to god, Tsuneo, _open the fucking windows.”_

“No- no. No one is throwing anyone else out of car windows tonight. Guys,” Tsueno sighed, “let’s just try to stay positive.”

“ _Okay_.” Akane said haughtily, “I am _positive_ that Aki just ruined the entire night.”

“Ha, oh- ha- HA!” Aki laughed desperately from the back seat, “Real funny, Akane! Well, _I’m_ positive that Akane’s instructions weren’t clear enough and-”

“WELL I’M POSITIVE THAT AKI-”

“WELL I’M POSITI-”

“Guys, _GUYS!_ ” Tsuneo shouted over the other two screaming teenagers, getting them to calm down as they both huffed and fell back, silent in their car seats, folding their arms and looking out of their windows.

“You two seriously need to take it down a notch.”

“Yeah, Akane, seriously.” Aki whispered, “Chillax, _God_.” Akane suddenly flipped around in her seat and clenched her fist violently into Aki’s hair. He let out a long, high-pitched scream right as Tsuneo pulled into the Dateko school parking lot and happily announced, “We’re here!”

He turned off his engine and they all piled out, slamming their doors behind them and opening the trunk to get their supplies. They neared the building, heading towards the back gymnasiums, their whispers floating up into the night.

“You sure there’s nobody here?”

“Almost positive, dude.” Tsuneo responded, “School janitors don’t stay this long.”

“Well, what if one of them wants overtime?” Aki muttered, “Or what if there are window alarms? You know, the ones that go WEE-OOH, WEE-OOH, WEE-O- Mm!” Akane slapped a hand over his mouth and hissed into his ear.

_“How many times are we gonna have to tell you to shut the fuck up tonight?!”_

“Mmph-” He spoke in between her hand, “Probafly sefen?”

“Don’t worry, Aki.” Tsuneo reassured quietly while lugging the fold-up ladder, “Dateko’s rich, but not that rich. Not for window ones, at least.” They stopped at the wall of the gymnasium building, looking up at the nearest window. All three of them looked up and swallowed heavily.

“High.” Aki said. Akane snorted, “No kidding.”

“Uh,” He said nervously, “I don’t know… my head’s already taken too much damage the past two days, I don’t know if I can risk a fall from a window that’s at least- 10 metres high.”

“10 metres isn’t that bad.” Tsuneo said gruffly, whipping out the ladder and leaning it up against the wall, unfolding it, “Just think of it as a high-dive on a swimming pool.”

“Why can’t we just take the door?” Aki asked, “I’m sure we could break those locks easily.”

“No,” Akane said, “even if we do, opening those doors from the outside _or_ inside after the security code has been set would trigger the alarm for sure. I know because Karasuno has the same locking system for their main buildings. The reason these gyms have it, is because they aren’t separate buildings and connected to the school—they need a system at every possible entrance.”

“Nice brains, Hinata.” Tsuneo smirked, finishing setting up the ladder. They all looked at it, their eyes widening in shock. The ladder climbed up a third of the wall, leaving a generous amount of space of wall between the top of it and the window ledge.

 _“Fuck!”_ Akane almost screeched, “Tsuneo! You had _one job!”_

“No! No!” He almost shrieked back, still trying to keep his voice low enough, “I had two jobs, actually! Driving your lazy asses and then getting the ladder and I’m sorry, Miss Hinata, that I didn’t fucking measure the exact, goddamn measurements of a goddamn wall and I’m sorry not everything works out to your perfect, pretty, perfect expectations!”

“OH!” She cried, getting closer to his face to shout in it more, “OH! I SEE! SO IT’S MY FAULT-!”

“NO,” He got closer as well, “BUT IT’S NOT MINE EITHER!” They stopped shouting for a second to look down at their close proximity, eyes widening at how near their faces actually were. Aki spoke up beside them, pulling the long piece of rope out of the bag.

“Jesus.” He said, obliviously not paying attention to their shared moment before they both quickly snapped their heads away, “You two have issues. Look, we’ll just use the rope to get up the rest of the way, easy-peasy rice and cheesy.”

“And how do you expect the rope to just magically tie itself to window?” Akane asked. Aki looked up before tossing it up weakly. It bounced against the wall halfway up and fell pathetically back down, landing on the ground in front of them. All three stared at the rope in silence before Tsuneo looked up.

“Well, I say we should just get back in the truck and call it a night.”

“That was meant to be aspirational.” Aki said, as his sister bent down to pick up the rope, stretching it and thinking.

“This will tie easily, catch onto anything.” She looked at them, “Someone needs to use it to tie it to the window for the others to climb.” The other boys stared uselessly at her.

“Um.”

“Aki,” She said, handing it to him, “You’re the tallest out of the three of us.”

“But, but,” He protested, “I’m concussed!” The other two groaned.

“Oh, shut the fuck up.”

“You are fucking not it’s been 36 goddamn hours.”

“Grow a pair of tits.”

“Akane,” Aki thrust the rope at her, “I think you should do it.”

“Seriously?” She gaped, “I am the youngest _and_ the shortest!”

“But you’re the one who came up with the idea!”

“And you’re the strongest.” Tsuneo added. She looked at them in shock before shutting her mouth and shaking her head in wonder, grabbing the rope.

“Fine, fine.” She rolled up her sweatshirt sleeves an tucked her hair into her hood, “Since you two won't do it—this is why men are useless.”

“You got this, sis.” Aki assured. Akane scoffed and tied the rope around her waist, spray cans tied to the belt loops of her pants, tying a loop on the other end for catching. Tsuneo fixed the knot around her waist, touching it gently and letting his fingers glide over and under it and along her hips. She murmured, “What are you doing.”

“Just checking the knot, see if it’s tight enough.” Tsuneo said quietly back. She broke away from his grip and started climbing the ladder. Each rung clanged as Tsuneo held it steadily and she eventually made it to the top.

“Okay,” He called up, “Now just throw it to that big window, see if it catches on any of the hinges, or those pieces of metal sticking out on the pane.” Akane picked up the heavy rope attached to her, and threw it up to the window, three metres above her. It didn’t catch on anything and came floating down, pulling her sharply with her and she screamed after getting jerked and quickly grabbed onto the ladder to steady her.

“Whoa- whoa!” Aki shouted.

“Okay,” Tsuneo called up, trying to steady both his and everyone else’s nerves, “Okay, don’t worry about a thing, Akane, don’t worry, we’re here.”

“You’ll catch me if I fall?” She called back miserably.

“Yeah.” Tsuneo smiled, “Yeah, I’ll catch you.”

“Me too, Akane!” Aki cut in, “I will too- well, except for that one time I didn’t. You were on top of the stairs, and you were four, and you wanted to jump off them because you were wearing your Spiderman suit and kept pretending you were Spiderman- and Dad told you not to jump- and I told you I couldn’t catch you because I was holding a plate of chicken nuggets-”

“Aki!” Tsuneo barked, “Could we possibly discuss this later.”

Akane grunted and threw the rope again—the loop caught on a piece of metal sticking out from the stone near the window and tightened instantly around it. She tugged the rope, feeling no strain, and gave a thumbs up to the other two guys below. They cheered and Aki let out a long whoop before Akane placed a foot tentatively on the wall, and then began to climb, using the rope as leverage to pull her up.

“Okay,” Tsuneo said, “okay, be careful.” Akane made a low, inarticulate sound in reponse while climbing, accompanied by a strained, “I _am_.” Her foot slipped on the stone and she gasped before re-gaining her balance and continuing.

“Akane,” Aki said, hand clasped over his mouth, “Akane, Akane, don’t fall. Don’t fall, Akane, don’t fall, don’t fall-”

“AKI!” She grunted back, hands burning at the rope, “Repeating the same thing over and over again will not possibly help me, in any way, of not doing that thing.”

“Okay, but please don’t fall.”

“I’m here,” She said shortly while reaching the top of the wide, stone ledge, climbing on top of it and leaning against it once she was fully seated.

“There we go!” Tsuneo cheered, his voice lowering into a satisfied murmur, “That’s my girl.”

“Your girl?” Aki questioned.

“Uh, hey, so, throw us that rope, Akane!” Tsuneo exclaimed, quickly climbing the ladder, “I’m coming up.”

“Okay.” She reached over and undid the latch for the window, popping it open and lifting it up as she looked out into the empty, dark gymnasium. “They’re not even locked.” She untied the rope around her waist and tossed it to Tsuneo at the top of the ladder, who tied it around his waist. He struggled, kicking, but eventually made his way up the wall with Akane’s help, pulling the rope from the top, yanking him up by his armpits once he reached the ledge and crawled on top. She immediately grabbed at his waist, pulling at his t-shirt and rope. He smiled down at her hands on him.

“Hey, hey,” He said, “Easy there, tiger, this is where you wanna do it? On the ledge of a gym window, fine by me-”

“You know, for someone who’s all talk you sure do get nervous when something actually happens. Mr. Losing Control of the Wheel. I need the rope.” She said, tugging it off his waist and tying it around hers instead. “We still need to figure out a way to get down on the _other_ _side_ , stupid.” Tsuneo leaned over at her words and looked through the open window at the gym floor below them, frowning.

“Oh, yeah.” He muttered, “I forgot.”

“Ahuh?” She wound up the rope and positioned herself on the edge of the window, Tsuneo holding the other end of it as she slowly unravelled it and climbed back down the other side of the wall.

“Easy.” Tsuneo murmured. “I’m good,” She responded. She eventually made her way back to the ground, landing both feet on the gym floor and breathing a heavy sigh of relief. She untied the rope and tossed it back up to the ledge where Tsuneo caught it, and then began to walk away.

“Hey- hey! Where you going?”

“To find the supply closet!” She called back, her voice echoing. Tsuneo turned around to Aki on the top of the ladder and tossed him the rope.

“Okay, Aki, tie that around your waist.”

“That’s the easiest part,” He snarled, “I can at least do that—don’t treat me like a child.”

“Okay.”

Aki let out a low grunt and pushed himself up off the ladder, steadily, Tsuneo holding onto the rope.

“Alright,” He said, “alright, easy-” _Crash._

“FUCK!” Aki screamed, the ladder pushing out right from under his feet and falling back down to the ground in an earth-shattering sound. Tsuneo swore as well.

“Oh, FUCK, AKI! How are we supposed to get back out now?!”

“CAN WE WORRY ABOUT THAT LATER?” Aki screamed, hands slipping on the rope and feet scrambling for purchase on the wall, “I’M FALLING TO MY DEA- FUCK!”

“You’re not falling to your death you have a rope tied around your fucking waist!” Tsuneo screamed, trying to pull him up and grunting, “As long as I don’t let go- just pull yourself up!”

Aki tried, failing, letting out a desperate “I’m trying!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Tsuneo snapped.

“JUST PULL ME UP!”

“ _Okay_.” Tsuneo grunted and did, pulling him up heavily as Aki uselessly flopped against the wall like a fish, whimpering in fear.

“Jesus, you are heavy.” Tsuneo wheezed, “Just, don’t look down, Aki.”

 _“I already did.”_ Aki whined, “Please, please let me up, please, I’ll give you anything, anything at all-” Tsuneo stopped pulling and panted.

“Wait, really?” He paused, “Well, since we’re already in this situation…”

“What!” Aki squeaked. Crickets chirped around them and it was still in the night as a breeze ruffled by and Tsuneo panted before saying.

“Is it…” He offered, “Is it okay if I date your sister?” Silence. For several seconds neither of them moved as Aki stared up at him with wide eyes, clinging to the rope. Then he opened his mouth.

“WHAT THE FUCK!”

“We just work really well together- our chemistry is impeccable it always has been and now that she’s in high school-”

“WHAT THE-” Aki flailed, “FUCK! GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER!”

“Okay, okay-” Tsuneo tugged tighter on the rope, “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

“YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Aki screamed, “THAT’S LIKE A- TEN YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE!”

“Well, actually, three is a very different number of years than ten-”

“DON’T PATRONIZE ME, THAT'S DISGUSTING!” Aki began grabbing at the rope at his waist, “THIS IS DISGUSTING- I CAN’T!”

“She’s very mature for her age- wait, wait, what are you doing?!” Tsuneo demanded, “Aki, Aki, Aki!”

“I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD!” He began to untie the rope at his waist, screaming, in a frenzy, “FUCK THIS!”

“NO, AKI, WHOA!” Tsuneo grabbed the rope and pulled him up roughly, “Don’t- AKI, JESUS CHRIST!”

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” Aki flopped against the wall, hands on the rope around his waist until Tsuneo was grabbing him by his upper arms and pulling him up. Once he was safe on the ledge Aki clung to him desperately, breathing hard, and Tsuneo held him back.

“Okay, okay, you’re alright, you’re alright, not dead, you’re not dead.” He turned to the gym and shouted, “Oi, Akane! Got a way down yet?”

“Working on it!” She shouted back, shuffles inside the gym of something large being dragged across the ground. Aki leaned in and whispered to Tsuneo.

“Don’t you talk to her.”

“Um,” He swallowed and nodded at the intense, gold eyes burrowing into his own, “Okay. Okay, yeah, I won’t-”

“Ever again.”

“-ever again, you got it, buddy.”

“Here we go!” Akane called from inside. Both boys turned on the ledge and dangled their feet over the open window, looking down below at the large, blue, blown up air mattress.

“Found it in the storage shed.” She smiled, “Jump, Azumane.” Tsuneo laughed, smiling before jumping off the ledge and landing on his back, spread-eagled, sinking into the mattress. She pulled him up from it and laughed as well. They both looked up at Aki.

“Coming Aki?” Aki nodded miserably before hesitating and then untying the rope from his waist. He placed it on the ledge and then positioned himself very carefully to delicately jump-

“Aki, you can’t leave the rope up there.”

“What-” He asked, before losing his balance and screaming as he felt none too delicately from the ledge, landing face-first into the mattress. He groaned, his voice muffled.

“I fink I got anofer confussion.”

“Fuck, Aki!” Akane snapped, “You left the rope up there, how the hell are we gonna get back up now?!”

“He dropped the ladder on the other side too.” Tsuneo picked up Aki by the arms and lifted him to his feet, “We’ll figure out another way, let’s just focus on the task at hand.”

“Alright.” Akane sighed, “Aki, you get rid of the mattress, me and Tsuneo will start on the paint.” She took the spray cans off her belt loops and handed one to Tsuneo, both shaking them as they walked over to the opposite wall of the gym.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Aki said, “How about _I_ paint with you, Akane, and Tsuneo takes back the mattress.”

“You don’t get to paint right now,” Akane said firmly, “You’re on time-out for ruining our exit plan.” She walked away, shaking the can, and Tsuneo did nothing but shrug at his friend before walking off with her too. Aki flipped them both off behind their backs before weakly dragging the air mattress with him back to the supply closet. When he came back, Akane and Tsuneo were already painting, spraying the walls and chatting in low voices, both laughing every once in a while. Tsuneo sprayed a little cerise coloured paint on Akane’s arm, who gasped dramatically and then grabbed him to spray some cornflower blue on his butt. They both laughed, grabbing at each other, Aki glaring viciously at them from across the gymnasium.

“Gross, hormonal motherfuckers.” He snarled, “Practically having sex with each other, even while I’m right in the room. No modesty whatsoever.” He said while staring at the two teenagers who were two feet apart from each other, shaking their spray cans.

“I’m gonna teach them a lesson.” He snapped, moving over to the wall.

“Guys?” He said suddenly, pretending to cup his ear and press it to the wall, “Um, guys?”

“What, Aki.” Akane turned around, Tsuneo with her.

“I think… I think someone’s coming!”

“Don’t mess around, Aki.”

“No,” He said, “I’m serious! I hear engines, like someone’s pulling into the parking lot. I think you two should go look.”

“It could be someone…?” Tsuneo shrugged, “Maybe we should go around, into the backroom? There’s a window in there where you can see out into the parking lot.”

“Good idea, excellent idea,” Aki said, “you two should go, I’ll finish up the painting.”

“Okay.” Akane tossed him her can and Tsuneo did the same, Aki stumbling to catch them, “You can finish up the rest of the word ‘ravens’. We’ll be back, it’s probably nothing.”

“Ay, ay!” Aki said happily, watching them walk together into the back room around the corner and a mischievous smile spread on his face. He finished the word ‘ravens’, and then went over to another wall, shaking the can and laughing a little at himself as he made his own creation. He stood back to survey it.

“Azumane Tsuneo is a pervert and smells like armpit.” He read aloud, “And Akane Hinata does too.” He laughed again, “That’ll teach em’. Well done, Karasuno’s genius setter,” He said to himself, changing his voice to a more sophisticated one, “why you’re welcome, Karasuno’s genius setter, I daresay, this shall be your best work yet!” He chuckled, "...Genius."

Akane and Tsuneo walked into the backroom and rounded the corner. They stopped near another door and window looking out into the parking lot, and Tsuneo grabbed her arm quickly before she leaned on it.

“Careful,” He said, “That one has a trigger alarm as well. Try to open the door without inputting the security code, you’ll definitely set it off.” Akane looked down at the hand around her arm and nodded.

“Yeah.”

He looked at where she was staring and let go as well, echoing, “Yeah.” They both went over to the window and peeked out, noticing nothing but an empty, black parking lot, and Tsuneo’s truck.

“Fucking liar.” She hissed.

“He was probably just hearing sounds. We should keep watch anyway, and figure a way out while we’re here.” Tsuneo laughed suddenly, “Aw, man, I can’t fucking wait for that moment when Dateko enters the gym and sees that message, it’s gonna be amazing! Ah, I wish I could see their faces.”

Akane chuckled as well and leaned on the window frame, folding her hands and balancing her chin on it with thought. Tsuneo did the same next to her, leaning on his elbow and propping his cheek up on his fist while staring at her, her staring out at the parking lot.

“I live for moments like that.” She smiled, “Life is boring without them.”

“Yeah.” He said, still staring at her, “Not much to do around here, huh?”

“Yeah.” She echoed, turning to him and mimicking his pose, “thrilling moments are nice...”

“Yeah.” He whispered back.

“You get a rush—some type of adrenaline.”

His eyes wavered down to her mouth, “Yeah.”

“It’s just…” She whispered, voice getting lower as her eyes did the same, “waiting for that one moment.” She stood up and Tsuneo did as well, following her as she backed up a step, challenging her, she smiled, never taking her eyes off his lips and neither did he. He pushed her a little further.

“I love that one moment.”

“Me too.” She reached a hand out to his shirt and brought him closer, “I used to think that moment never existed for me, because of who I am, but I think it does now. And it’s going to happen.” She backed up and he followed her, leaning back, slowly…

“Real soon…” She whispered, his face starting to lower down.

“When.” He whispered, their noses inches apart.

“Now.” She whispered back, their lips moving closer-

Akane leaned back and pushed on the lever of the back door, causing it to spring open. The alarm went off, red light on the box flashing as it echoed through the building.

“Oh, _fuck_.” Tsuneo said, pulling back up with a hand still on Akane’s waist.

“Ah, shit.” She mumbled with defeat. Running footsteps neared the corner and Aki ran in with wide eyes, stopping and pointing up to the ceiling where the loud, clear sound was coming from.

“UM?” He demanded, “UM?! WEE-OOH, WEE-OOH?!”

“WE KNOW!” Akane started to shout, “WE KNOW IT’S SAYING WEE-OOH, WEE-OOH, YOU DON’T HAVE TO STATE THE SOUND THAT’S HAPPENING ALL AROUND US! SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

“WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOING IN HERE WHERE YOU JUST HAD TO SET OFF THE ALA-” Aki paused, staring down at the hand on Akane’s waist which quickly whipped off, and then looking slowly and lividly up at the culprit.

“Oh.” He whispered, “ _I see how it is.”_

“Aki?” Tsuneo said carefully, backing up with his hands in the air, “hey, you’re making that scary face your Dad makes when he’s angry.”

“Yeah, I wonder why!” Aki took a step threateningly toward him, “Was this whole trip a little chance for your hands to grab places they shouldn’t grab? Was that it?”

“Aki, stop.” Akane grabbed his arm, “Okay, how much time do we have left?”

“Ten minutes, maximum, if police have been alerted. Maybe we can turn it off?” Tsuneo offered, walking over to the keypad, “I can punch in a code.”

“You don’t know their code.” Akane said loudly over the noise.

“Well, maybe if I punch in anything it will work.” He punched in random letters and waited. The alarm continued.

“What did you punch in?!”

“Dateko?”

“WHA-” Akane shrieked, “DATEKO’S SECURITY CODE COMBINATION IS NOT GOING TO BE ‘DATEKO’! FOR FUCK’S SA-”

“WELL, I’LL TRY ANOTHER WAY!” He banged the top part of the box open, revealing a cluster of wires, “Even though either way the cops are coming.” He began to play with the wires, crossing some, mumbling nonsense to himself. He stopped on a green one and cocked his head.

“Umm… this one!” He yanked it out, holding the green wire. The alarm stopped. All three teenagers stared in shock and took a deep breath of relief… until the alarm started again seconds after, at a much more louder volume.

“OH MY GOD!” Aki screamed, hands flying to his ears, “IT’S FUCKING LOUDER NOW-”

“YES, I KNOW IT’S FUCKING LOUDER NOW! SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Tsuneo screamed back, hands at his own ears, “JESUS CHRIST, GOOD DEDUCTION, HOLMES, DOES SCOTLAND YARD KNOW ABOUT YOU?”

“OH, THAT IS HILARIOUS!” Aki grabbed his own hair, “YOU ARE JUST HILARIOUS, AREN’T YOU? A REAL GOLD COMEDIAN-” He began shaking his hands in front of Tsuneo’s wrinkled up face, “YOU ARE JUST SO FUNNY.”

“Guys!” Akane shouted, blocking her ears, “We just need to relax and think!”

“NO,” Aki screeched, “NO, BECAUSE IF I RELAX IN FRONT OF THIS- _JERK FACE PERVERT_ THAT I GREW UP WITH FOR ONE SECOND, HE’S GONNA GRAB ME BY THE WAIST AND TRY TO STICK HIS TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT.”

“I DIDN’T EVEN KISS HER, ALRIGHT?!” Tsuneo yelled, pointing at Akane, “YOU DON’T HAVE TO PLAY THE BIG BROTHER ROLE RIGHT NOW, YOU’VE FAILED AT IT FOR OVER TEN YEARS! I SHOULD HAVE DROPPED YOU OFF THAT FUCKING LEDGE WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE.”

“HEY!” Aki hung a finger in his face, “ _FUCK_ YOU!”

“GUYS!” Akane screamed, trying to get their attention and failing, “HEY, STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER!”

“THE ONLY REASON WE’RE HERE IN THIS MESS,” Tsuneo shouted, “IS BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING THROW A PUNCH, AND GET YOURSELF IN SHIT ALL THE TIME BECAUSE YOU’RE SELF-DESTRUCTIVE AS FUCK!”

“NO! THE REASON WE ARE _ACTUALLY_ HERE IS BECAUSE YOU SHOWED UP AT OUR HOUSE ACTING AS THOUGH YOU WERE IN OCEANS ELEVEN, DEMANDING A SECRET PLAN OF REVENGE BECAUSE YOU’RE OVERLY SENSITIVE AND NEED TO GET YOUR ANGER OUT THROUGH VANDALISM.”

 _“GUYS!”_ Akane screeched at the top of her voice.

“DON’T PRETEND LIKE THE IDEA WAS ALL MINE!” Tsuneo glared viciously at him, “AND YOU WERE CONCUSSED WHEN I WAS AT YOUR HOUSE, HOW WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW?!”

“WELL I SURE WASN’T CONCUSSED WHEN YOU ASKED ME TWENTY MINUTES AGO IF YOU COULD FUCK MY SISTER!”

Silence, except for the blaring of the alarm and Tsuneo stared at him wide-eyed, Aki wide-eyed himself as if he couldn’t believe what he just said. They slowly both turned to Akane who looked up at Tsuneo in shock, before her face dissolved into blind rage.

“You…?”

“Hey-” Tsuneo started, “Akane-” Akane hit him in the nose with her fist. Tsuneo went reeling back with a muffled, “JESUS!” and grabbed his nose as he doubled over.

“YOU FUCKING ASKED MY BROTHER-” She shoved his chest, “FOR HIS PERMISSION?!” She shoved him again and he moaned with pain.

“I’m _bleeding!”_ He gasped, pulling his hands away from his face.

“YEAH?! GOOD! I’M THE ONLY ONE IN MY FAMILY WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO THROW A PUNCH.” She held back her fist, prepared to do it again, but Tsuneo cowered away from her and begged for mercy.

“Please don’t!” He held out a hand, “Please don’t- I didn’t say ‘fuck’, I just asked him if I could date you.”

“Like a fucking possession to borrow?” She snapped and shoved him again, “As if I’m owned by all the asshole, disastrous men in my life—fuck you!”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry!” He begged. She grabbed the front of his shirt with curled fists and pressed him hard up against the wall and he gasped, the wind knocked out of him momentarily, and began begging again.

“Oh my god, please don’t hurt me anymore.”

“Think you can touch me and leave?” She hissed, “Is that what you do for fun- huh?! Taking fourteen year old girls V-cards and never calling them again after you move to college?”

“No- no!” His desperate voice lowered to a whisper, “Akane, no, I would never…” Her eyes widened at the desperate look in Tsuneo’s, and her grip on his shirt loosened for a moment before he began saying softly.

“Please. Akane… I’ve never even dreamed of being that lucky. Please.”

She blinked before her face softened and she released the grip on his shirt. All three of them sighed and looked at each other in defeat as the alarm sang around them. “So?” Aki said, “What now?” They both looked at the oldest of the group who shrugged and said, “Run?”

They burst out of the door seconds later.                   

 

“Get the ladder! Wait- don’t get the ladder! Wait, yes, yes, yes get the ladder!”

 _“FUCKING SHIT, AKANE!”_ Aki whispered viciously while dancing back and forth between the truck and the ladder. Akane and Tsuneo piled into the front and Aki ran over to lug the heavy object from the ground. He froze when he heard sirens.

Akane froze in the truck as well, whipping to Tsuneo, “Are those-?!”

“Well,” He said gruffly, starting the engine quickly, “that’s definitely not a fire truck. Fuck, I never expected them to come this quick.”

“Oh my god.” Akane whispered, clasping a hand over her mouth. Tsuneo rolled down the window and poked his head out to call for Aki, who was pathetically trying to lift the ladder from the ground and failing.

“GET YOUR SKINNY ASS IN HERE, THE COPS ARE COMING!”

“I know!” Aki squealed, “I hear them, I’m scared!”

“Well, then SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET IN HERE!” Tsuneo brought his head back in the window and waited impatiently, tapping his fingers on the wheel as the faint sirens grew nearer. Aki tripped on his way over to the truck and fell on his face, and Tsuneo snapped.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake- _OI, AKI!”_ He poked his head out and screamed again, “I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNOW, BUT I’M EIGHTEEN. I CANNOT GO TO JAIL. NOW AS YOUR CAPTAIN, GET YOUR FUCKING ASS IN THE TRUCK OR SO HELP ME-”

“You know what.” Akane said firmly, “No.” She reached over to the back truck door and locked it quickly. Tsuneo flipped around and looked at her as Aki stumbled and ran to the door.

“Um.” He said, “UM?!”

“I’ve had enough of him tonight.” She decided casually, “He’s caused us enough shit, let’s just leave him here.”

“AKANE-” Tsuneo screamed and clenched the wheel, “FUCK ME!”

“No thank you?”

“YOU LET YOUR BROTHER IN RIGHT NOW!”

“Akane?” Aki began grabbing the truck door and pulling on the handle, sirens nearing in the background, “AKANE?! GUYS-”

“There’s no collective lock for this car you know I can’t- Akane, fuck! It was us who triggered the alarm!” Tsuneo’s voice rose with desperation, “We leave him here, he’s gonna rat on us in seconds to the cops anyways.”

“Doesn’t matter, I don’t want him in this truck.”

“AKANE!” Aki screamed from the outside, grabbing the handle and pulling, “AKAAAAAAAA-”

“Okay,” Tsuneo said, “so I’m gonna spend my life in jail, all because of some petty sibling rivalry!”

“You’re not going to spend your life in jail over a can of paint.” Akane scoffed.

“BREAKING AND ENTERING- I CAN’T GO TO COLLEGE WITH A CRIMINAL RECORD!”

“AKANE!” Aki screeched, hand on the door, flailing against it desperately, “LET ME IN RIGHT NOW!” He kicked it and Tsuneo slapped the wheel, swearing.

“SHIT, AKANE, YOU ARE SUCH A CHILD!”

“Hey, I am not! No need to get mad, just drive.” Akane said calmly, “There are plenty of higher education schools in Japan that accept students with criminal records, I can e-mail you a li-” Tsuneo grabbed her arm tightly, practically pinning her to the back of the seat, and he leaned in intensely.

 _“Let your fucking brother in the fucking truck,”_ He whispered, face inches away from hers, _“so you two don’t fucking get me arrested.”_ Akane swallowed heavily and then nodded, eyes flicking from his to his lips for a moment and then she was reaching behind her and unlocking the truck.

“JESUS CHRIST!” Aki leapt in, landing on his stomach on the seat and closing the door behind him with his feet as Tsuneo put the truck in reverse and pressed on the pedal. He saw lights in the distance, nearing around the corner on their way to the gym, and swore under his breath.

“What- what are you doing.” Akane demanded.

“Taking a detour.” Tsuneo put the truck out of reverse after pulling back far enough and veered forward, around the other side of the gym as his tires screeched against the stones and dirt and Aki screamed from the back seat. He flew by the side of the gym, towards a back road leading from the school campus that eventually broke into the high way. A back road that was divided from the school with a simple barrier.

“Fence?” Akane gasped, clinging to the seat and pointing, “Fence? Fence? Fence?”

“No fence,” Tsuneo said while driving head-on towards the tall, chain-link fence, face deadpanned, “fence isn’t there, no fence, don’t worry-”

“FENCE, FENCE, FENCE!” Akane screeched, Aki screaming, “FEEEEEEENCE” from the back seat and Tsuneo squeezed one eye shut as the truck broke through the chain-link, knocking away the entire bottom-half and bits of metal rained on top the windshield and they all screamed and covered their heads subconsciously. The truck kept driving, unscathed, and they all looked up in shock and Tsuneo laughed with victory.

“We made it!” He shouted, “Fuck yes!” A cheer resonated in the small truck and Tsuneo and Akane turned to each other, grinning for a moment as their eyes met-

Tires screeched and the truck came back to a sharp stop, Tsuneo freezing and breaking down at the sound of sirens coming around the corner, and coming across another police car, already on the back road and blocking it from escape.

“Ah, fuck.” Tsuneo said in defeat, a policeman climbing out of the parked, blinking car and over to the truck. “Well, there goes college.”

“Two police cars?” Akane said, sounding dumbfounded, “For a school security alarm going off?”

“Dateko pays what Dateko pays for, they got their money’s worth I have to give em’ that.” Tsuneo turned off his truck and slid his hands down the wheel as Aki groaned in the back seat.

“Fuck me.” The older one said. Aki opened one eye to glare at him.

“Does someone need to ask for permission first?”

The other two turned around to glare back at him.

"Shut the fuck up, Aki."

"Yeah, seriously."

* * *

“Alright… let’s just rip off this Band-Aid and get to it, shall we, my lady and gents?”

An hour later, they were all crowded in Karasuno’s Dean’s office, having been escorted there in a police car moments earlier. The two police in mention stood in the office, leaning against the walls and the eerie hum of walkie-talkies echoed in the small room. The Dean sat across from them at his desk, dressed in not his typical suit but a pair of sweatpants and a leather jacket instead. He had been woken up, called by the police, and instead requested bringing the three to the school instead to discuss the issue.

“So, you may be wondering why you’re even here, and not sitting in a cold cell right now.” The Dean said gruffly, “You all should thank me for that.”

“Thank you.” Aki said. Tsuneo smirked at the Dean and leaned in the chair, one arm on the back.

“Those the clothes you sleep in, Dean? How does Mrs. Dean like them?”

“Mrs. Dean?” The man sitting at the desk made a confused face, and everyone else in the room did as well.

“Tsuneo…” Akane whispered, “Do you think his last name is ‘Dean’?” The other boy’s eyes widened and he turned to her slowly.

“…It’s not?”

“You are definitely your father’s son, Azumane.” The Dean said tiredly, “He made the career of the Dean before me a living nightmare as well.”

Tsuneo winked, “Just doing what I can, sir, we can’t all be heroes.”

“Ah- no, Azumane,” The Dean said while beckoning to the police to open up the filing cabinet, “as much as I _love_ waking up at 4:16am, to be exact, getting a police call from three students of mine, and dragging my ass down to the school to open it in order to scold them—this meeting was not planned. The police were first going to bring you to the station. But they entered the broken into building, saw the spray-painted message, and realized this was more of a school related issue, one typically concerning ‘ravens’.” One of the policemen at the back snickered at the last part of his statement and all three students turned around in confusion.

“Why is he snickering?” Akane demanded. The Dean ignored her question and kept talking.

“They put two-and-two together, realized which school you were from, found my number, and decided a school authority figure present at the scene would be more appropriate. So.” He beckoned the police over who brought out the three files, all with the students’ names on them, and placed them on his desk, “Now that we’re all here and comfortable-”

“Please don’t send us to jail.” Aki squeaked, sitting with his hands clasped in his lap as he looked miserably up at his Dean. He stared at Aki for a moment before smiling softly, tiredly.

“Ah, no, Hinata, we have no intention of sending underage students to jail. Despite the triggering and breaching of a- seemingly rather expensive?- security alarm system, this incident was too small.” He nodded to the black, faded mark circling Aki’s eye from the fight, “How’s your eye?” He asked kindly. Aki shrugged back with a muttered, “A lil’ better.”

“Um, but, sir?” Tsuneo said quickly, nervously, “I’m not underage.”

“I am aware of that, Azumane, but I pulled a few strings and took responsibility for all three of you…” He looked warily up at the cops before continuing, “…and since we don’t want to ruin lives—we’ve made an exception in your case. Especially considering your life will already easily be ruined in your own hands, without law involved.” He nodded to the cops, “Thank you, gentlemen. I’ll be giving you a call.” They both walked out, Tsuneo twitching a little when one of them passed him.

“Alright,” The Dean began as the door closed behind the police, “before I deal out punishments and consequences like free flyers, let’s deal with the a review of each of your personal records, individually, hm?” He smiled up at them, eyes deathly sharp as they all leaned back in their chairs cautiously.

“You’ve made the conscious decision to wake me up at 4am, we might as well. Don’t you love reviews?”

“Ahuh.” Tsuneo squeaked. The Dean opened the first student folder and barked.

“Hinata, Akihiko!”

Aki let out a small _“Eep!”_ before clasping a hand over his mouth and clearing his throat, going, “I mean, yes?”

“Second year, class one.” He read slowly off the papers in the folder, “You’ve had a total of only two suspensions since your enrolment in Karasuno and ten weeks of detention, counting the three given to you earlier the other day. One of your suspensions… was a result of an incident where, and I quote from the reports: involved you taking off your shirt, getting on top of the chemistry lab tables on third floor, and screaming very loudly, ‘I am the Small Giant’s son, you shall all bow before me.’” He looked pointedly up at Aki who blushed and shrugged. Tsuneo chuckled.

“I remember that.” He said fondly, “That was in your first year, right, buddy?”

“I had a bad day.” Aki said, brief with explanation. Akane made a face.

“Wasn’t it from a dare that Miyoshi Taro gave you to sniff glue?”

“ _And_ ,” Aki added, “I was also happening to have a very bad day.”

“So,” The Dean said, “you’re saying all these events are misunderstood coincidences?”

“ _Exactly_.” Aki sighed, “This guy gets it—I’m completely innocent!”

“Yeah,” Akane scoffed, “and I’m a monkey’s molesting uncle.”

“Aaand,” The Dean pulled out another folder, “the lovely Hinata Akane.”

“Bite me.”

“First year, class three. Despite your surprisingly good grades and solid attendance, you’ve had a total of four suspensions, and six weeks of detention since the beginning of your enrolment in Karasuno. Yet, you’ve only been with us for literally three months.”

Tsuneo elbowed her with admiration, whispering, “Hey, nice.”

The Dean smiled up at her in mock wonder, “How do you do it.” Akane smirked at him.

“Dermatologists hate me.”

“Ah, I see.” The Dean nodded, “Wit maybe got you far in middle school, sweetie, but it gets you nowhere in a very cranky Dean’s office at 4am, when two police cars are parked out front. Another thing, is that I'm surprised either of you Hinatas even pull this shit in this first place... your father literally works for the school.”

“She’s actually trying to compete with me.” Tsuneo shrugged, “It’s this cute thing we started—she’s trying to get more suspensions and detentions before she graduates than me, and I guess she takes competition seriously.”

“Oh you bet I do.” She whispered back.

“How wonderful.” The Dean said, “Keep this up, you two, and you’ll become the next Bonnie and Clyde. Only collectively dumber.”

“Oh, sir,” Tsuneo said, taking Akane’s hand as he brought his other one over his own heart, “would you like to do the officiating honours? I mean… it must be ten times more interesting than your actual job.”

“Save it, Azumane.” The Dean said with a firm look, “We haven’t even got to your folder yet.” He pulled out his from the bottom, it being much bigger and more stuffed with paper, and landed it on top of the others with a loud ‘thump’.

“Ha!” Tsuneo pointed and laughed in Akane’s face, “I told you mine was thicker!”

“I’m getting there!”

“Tsuneo, Azumane. Third year, class two. In your past three years of your high school career, commencing from the start of your enrolment in Karasuno, you have received a shocking sixteen suspensions, and a total of eigh- eighty six weeks of detention?!” The Dean gaped down at the papers, “Wait, that can’t be right.”

“No,” Tsuneo shrugged, “that sounds about right.”

“I’ve never read the papers- that’s almost two full years! I hardly remember assigning so many to you!” The Dean spluttered. Tsuneo shrugged.

“Well, it wasn’t only you. Through the past three years I would mostly just piss off teachers, sometimes accidentally, mostly intentionally, and in their heat of rage they would demand that I go sit in detention after school. And since the detention supervisor just clocks in whoever comes and goes, I just kept following my teacher’s orders and going. It was a nice way to pass time when I wasn’t doing club activities, and meet hot chicks. The coolest, hottest chicks of the school are _always_ in detention.”

“Oh my god, Tsuneo.” Akane sighed, “I don’t think I can do eighty seven.”

“You could if you believe in yourself.”

“So,” The Dean frowned, “What do you do in their all the time?” Tsuneo shrugged again.

“Mostly jack off underneath my desk.”

“Excuse me?”

“Tsuneo, what the fuck!”

“Ew! Gross, dude!”

“I’m kidding!” He exclaimed, “I’m kidding…” His smile faded and he looked away for a moment, “Mostly.”

“Alright,” The Dean sighed, “well I might as well just state your punishment here. All three of you are receiving one week’s suspension, are personally going to be escourted to Dateko school tomorrow to wash the paint off, and are suspended from your club activities-”

 _“WHAT?!”_ Akane and Tsuneo shrieked. Aki screamed at the Dean with wide eyes, pulling at his shirt.

“NOOOO-”

“You didn’t even let me finish my sentence!” The Dean said, “Suspended from club activities, for one month.”

“Oh.”

“Oh, okay.” Aki said.

“Yeah,” Akane said, “I could do that.”

“Ah, one month?” Tsuneo asked, looking bothered, “It’s just… I’m captain and ace, Dean I can’t stay away from my team for one whole month, inter-high’s coming up and my libero is sick and-”

“Okay,” The Dean held out a hand, “enough of all these- meaningless words and this garbage, sports vocabulary that I know nothing about. That’s all fine and dandy, Azumane but maybe you should have thought of the consequences before you got in a car with two Hinatas at 3am.”

Tsuneo sighed and then turned and glared at the other two sitting next to him, who both offered him weak smiles of apology. He muttered, "Shit, your dad's gonna kill me."

“I have to admit,” The Dean said, “I’m not shocked. But I wish I could say I was in terms of all three of yours’ behaviours. I get it that bullies suck and need to learn their lesson but threatening them with paint is not gonna do it. For God’s sake, threaten them with firecrackers in their backpacks or a snake in their locker room painted the school colours—do it old school—just anything but this.”

“Wow.” Tsuneo said, looking impressed, “Those are actually really good ideas, Dean. You get around a lot?”

“You know how much trouble this is going to cause? Me and the authorities over at Dateko already have a strained relationship. You deepened a rivalry that’s already got me neck-high in a bunch of reports, I don’t even remember this rivalry starting in the first place! I mean, I better not find a bomb somewhere in the school from three of Dateko’s stupidest students.”

“Doubt it.” Akane said, “Also, we’re not that stupid.”

“Not that stupid.” The Dean laughed, “Really? When the police came to the scene your ladder was on the ground, a door was open, a fence was knocked through even though there’s a clear entrance to the back roads, literally ten feet away from it-”

“Oh,” Tsuneo said, “well we didn’t see that.”

“And even the message you attempted to send had complications-”

“Complications?” Akane asked, “What kind of complications? Is that why the police was laughing when you mentioned the paint?”

“Well, Miss Hinata,” The Dean pulled out two photographed pictures of the spray paint that the cops had taken, “I don’t know even how you thought you three would get away with this… I mean two of you literally left your names on the wall.”

“Wait, what?” Tsuneo asked, Akane shaking her head next to him.

“No we didn’t. We’re not Van Goghs we’re Banksys—modestly anonymous.”

The Dean slid over the photograph and the other bent over to look at it while Aki covered his face casually and looked away in his chair.

Akane quietly read aloud, “Azumane Tsuneo is a pervert and smells like armpit- Oh, for fuck’s sake, Aki!”

“Really, dude?” Tsuneo held up a hand and glared at him, “Are you four?”

“You two deserved it!” Aki almost cried, “You were jerks to me tonight.”

“Oh my god.” Akane squeezed her eyes shut and pressed fingers to her temples, “You are such an _ass_ sometimes, just- shut the fuck up.”

“What were the complications with the rest of it?” Tsuneo asked, “There were none, right?”

“What does it matter.” Akane mumbled tiredly, “We’re just going to have to wash it off tomorrow anyways, I wanna go to bed.”

“Ah, yes,” The Dean shook his head and smiled down at the other photograph, “The cherry on top of this pathetic attempt of a sundae. In a- rather shocking I must say- shade of pink, you truly held your school’s hundred year old reign to justice.” He slid the photograph over of their messy, dripping, pink message, “You guys spelled the word ‘ravens’ wrong.”

Silence. They all stared at the message, and then slowly, the other two turned their heads to Aki, who stared at the photograph with his mouth open, looking slightly confused.

He started, “Actually, sir, that shade’s called cerise-”

“AKI.” They both barked in unison and he jumped in his chair.

“I- I’m sorry! I’m sorry! It was dark- I couldn’t-!”

“You think the word ‘ravens’,” Akane said in a shaky voice, her face dark, “is spelled with a fucking ‘U’?!”

“I was sounding it out!”

“WELL, YOU SOUNDED IT OUT WRONG!”

“HOW OLD ARE YOU?” Tsuneo demanded. Aki responded with a quiet, “I’ve always been bad at spelling, you guys know that- I’m concussed!”

“OH, SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ARE NOT FUCKING CONCUSSED,” Akane shouted, sitting up in her chair and raising a fist, “BUT YOU’RE ABOUT TO BE-”

“Okay, okay!” Tsuneo grabbed her fist and forced her to sit down, “Just let him go for now, you can beat him up when you two get home.” Akane made a frustrated sound but lowered her fist anyways, sending Aki enough of a death glare to threaten him with.

“Those don’t faze me anymore!” He stated defiantly, "Also, that's seven."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" The other two yelled in unison. Aki shifted uncomfortably in his chair and frowned.

"Eight."

“The reason,” The Dean continued anyways, “to why I didn’t worsen your punishments was because I knew that was already going to be a bitch of wash off, I knew that you three embarrassed yourselves thoroughly. If anything this story will… probably, definitely carry around the different schools, especially if Dateko students see it next morning. I mean, in a petty and vastly unplanned attempt to seek revenge, you have all given yourselves even more comedic material to be bullied upon. Fuck, if I was a rivalling school even I would bully you guys.”

“Wow,” Aki said, “Okay.”

The Dean sighed with amusement and stacked the photographs on his desk, clasping his hands and placing them in front of him as he smiled up at them, “Congratulations, you three. You’ve officially made Karasuno high look like the stupidest school in the Miyagi Prefecture.” He smirked, “We’ll be in touch with each of your parents.”

* * *

The truck engine hummed in the quiet night as they rolled through their neighbourhood streets, heading back home. All of them had quieted down since leaving the Dean’s office, and were thinking in their own regretful spaces of solitude. Aki was snoring in the back seat with his mouth wide open, drool falling out. Akane was sitting in the passenger seat, eyes out of the window as she played with the string of her hoodie, a serious look on her face. Tsuneo looked at her momentarily, and then chuckled.

“I can tell that you’re really thinking. You know how I know? It’s that look on your face. Your Dad has the same look whenever he gets really lost in his own thoughts, the look that conveys a possible thought process of him murdering whoever’s nearest and chopping them up into little pieces, Lovely Bones style.” Akane giggled next to him for a moment, so he continued, smiling.

“When I was little I used to think he was aiming that look at me, but no, he was just thinking. Even though I was almost sure he was going to kill me in my sleeping bag overnight when I was having slumber parties with Aki.” Akane laughed again. “What are you thinking about?”

She sighed, “That maybe we are the three stupidest students in Karasuno.”

“Doubt it. You seen that kid in my class that collects animal hearts during biology and puts them in his backpack every time we have a discectomy? Fucking weirdo.”

“God,” Akane sighed, leaning her face on her hand, “we _are_ idiots. I mean I can’t believe we spent most of that time just trying to climb that stupid, fucking wall.”

“The whole story will blow over soon.”

“I’m just worried.”

“About what?”

“Aki.”

They both turned and looked at the snoring boy behind him, blissful in sleep, and Tsuneo smiled gently at him.

“He’s okay. He just… has a little trouble fitting in. We all do.”

“People are mean to him.”

“ _We’re_ mean to him.”

“Well he deserves it!”

“Exactly!”

“Wait,” Akane said, “Whose side are we on?”

“I don’t know… I think we just all need to go to bed, we’ll be feeling shittier in the morning.” His hands slid down the wheel and he kept sending Akane frantic looks before speaking, “Look, Akane, about- about what I said-”

“Can we just,” She said softly, “not talk about that?”

“The only reason that I said that was because dating you, would be like dating Aki as well.”

“What?” She turned to him and made a face, “Are you saying I’m my brother?”

“No! I’m saying you and your brother are like this.” He crossed his fingers, “It’s just… he loves you, so fucking much. Doing it without asking him would just feel wrong.”

“Right,” She laughed, “so, instead of asking _me_ if you want to do this you ask my brother instead, because that’s so much more fucking important.”

“I- I know it sounds that way but I didn’t mean-” Tsuneo sighed, “It’s hard to ask you, okay? It’s hard to get anything from you—you send so many mixed signals you’re like a fucking, orange traffic light.” He grew frustrated, rambling, “I mean- sometimes you’re stop, sometimes you’re go, sometimes you’re like ‘fuck you, I’ll punch you’ and then five minutes later you’re like ‘kiss me, we’re having a moment’ and I can’t keep track-”

“Oh, fuck that!” Akane snapped, “I’m not that blunt and insincere, don’t make me out to be that way. You have to stop pretending like you know me so well all the time.”

“Because I do!” Tsuneo shouted, “I honestly do- I know you like the shape of my own dick!”

“No, you don't!”

“Yeah?! Well, how come I knew you were turned on as hell when I grabbed your arm and told you to let Aki into the car.”

Akane gasped dramatically, eyes widening, “I was not!”

“Oh, stop it.” Tsuneo snapped, “I saw the look in your eyes. You’ve spent your whole life denying authority, don’t pretend like it doesn’t turn you on when authority starts to deny you, you fucking love getting in trouble, don’t you? It gives you a rush.”

“Ew!” Akane said, “Stop- ew!”

“No- no.” Tsuneo pointed at her, still trying to keep his eyes on the road while talking to her, “These past few months ever since you got into high school you’ve been totally digging me now that you’re old enough, don’t deny it.”

“What are you even saying?!”

“JUST FUCKING ADMIT IT.” Tsuneo’s voice rose, and Akane versed it.

“ADMIT WHAT-”

“ADMIT THAT YOU’VE WANTED TO BONE-”

“OH, FOR GOD’S SAKE, TUSNEO!”

“YOU’VE WANTED TO BONE YOUR BROTHER’S CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND FOR YEARS, OKAY?!”

“I’M FOURTEEN,” She screamed in shock, “WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU- YOU ARE DISGUSTING!”

“YEAH?”

“DISGUSTING-” She pointed, getting closer, Tsuneo looking back and forth from her to the road, “SO DISGUSTING, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY-” He grabbed her face and pushed their lips together, one hand on the wheel as she gasped and let out a surprised, “Mm!” She leaned into it, kissing him once, quickly, before leaning back and turning around in her seat, wiping her mouth. He turned around in his seat too and continued to drive, eyes never leaving the road, both blushing as they sat in shocked silence.

 Aki mumbled in the back seat, and they both froze in fear and looked behind them, but sighed with relief when they saw he was still asleep. The rest of the truck ride was in silence, Akane wiping her mouth, staring out the window. Tsuneo reached up to gently touch his own lips once.

 

They pulled quietly into the Hinata drive, parking the car. Akane stepped out and opened the back door, pulling the still half-asleep and mumbling Aki out and leaning his arm around her shoulder to help carry him to the door.

“You two gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” She said, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Tsuneo nodded to Aki, “Apologize to him for me.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know… I saved his life but I called him self-destructive as fuck. He’s not that self-destructive he’s just… mildly self-destructive.”

Akane chuckled a little under her breath, “Will do.” Tsuneo smiled at her smile, and nodded.

“Good night, Hinata Akane.”

“‘Night, Azumane Tsuneo.” She hobbled away with her brother up the driveway. Tsuneo sighed and hit his head against the back of his car seat. His cell phone rang and he picked it up.

“Hey- Dad? Okay, okay, yeah- Dad- Dad, please stop screaming. Yeah, please stop screaming- your voice is already so loud and high-pitched- yeah, yeah, I know I’m sorry I’m coming ho- He’s what? Okay, well tell Dad to stop crying, I’m coming home.” He started his truck and drove away.

* * *

“Akane,” Aki whispered in his bed as Akane walked by his bedroom with a glass of water, dressed in short-shorts and a long t-shirt.

“What’s up?” She leaned against the door.

“How mad are they?”

She sighed and looked down the stairs at the light in the kitchen where loud voices were coming from, “Well, they’re not happy. I think they’re more upset about the misspelling than anything else.”

“Huh.”

“I don’t think Dad knew exactly how to spell the word ‘ravens’ either… it’s literally the easiest word to spell.”

“Which one?”

“I think both of them?” She sighed and sat on the edge of his bed with the water, “Aki, I’m sorry.”

“For what.”

“For… being a jerk to you. We could all be a little nicer to each other. And I’m sorry those guys beat you up.”

“‘S okay.” Aki mumbled, “Just stay away from Tsuneo, okay?”

She smiled and patted his foot poking out from underneath the blankets, “Alright, buddy, I know.” She got up and walked out of his room, stopping at the door at the sound of his voice.

“Akane?”

“Ahuh?”

Aki grinned in his sleep, “We totally have to do something like that again.” Akane smirked and nodded in agreement. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> they do something else like that again  
> more to come! go thank [Noran](http://noranb.tumblr.com) for her lovely drawings
> 
> I think the sassy Dean is my favourite character, lol


End file.
